Origin

I was born Jiaao 佳傲

My father named me after a class of poetry
with a subtle twist turning a boy’s name into a girl’s one
two characters carrying a blueprint of androgyny:
fine beauty, and pride.

I spent 11 years answering to the sound of these syllables
before life brought me to a different country
where I learned to be embarrassed of my history
and the name that carries my essence.

For years I felt rootless, groundless,
floating, screaming, in the void where nothing meant anything,
for I rejected my story; I rejected my power.

When I connect to my ancestry I connect to the roots of an infinite tree.

When I connect to my name I connect to my place of origin and where I started on this tree.

From today I’ll be Jiaao again

to honor my lineage, story, and the stories that came before me.

🐉 🪷 🌔

(11/11/2024)